All I have to say about this book is STUPID FUCKING CLIFFHANGER!
That's it.
The end.
Oh wait! I totally need to tell you about the rest of the book, the part of the book that did not make me want to smash faces.
So.....TUNE IN NEXT YEAR FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION TO THIS WEEK'S BLOG!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! I am so funny!
This book, like Hunger Games, is awesome. It picks up a few months after Hunger Games ends, handily explains what has happened since, and engrosses you with tails of rebellion, intrigue, yet more Hunger Games, lies, secret plans, even secret-er plans, the evil President Snow, who smells like blood and roses AND THEY NEVER EXPLAIN WHY.
Under the direction of President Snow, Katniss and Peeta must pretend to get married to try to convince the Districts that Katniss defied the Capitol out of crazy love rather than actual defiance. This doesn't work. So President Snow devises a way to get Katniss back in the Hunger Games (I'm not explaining how), to kill her. He knows that to just have her killed (even if it looks like an accident) would just spur on even more rebellion. This, also, does not work. While in the arena more districts rebel. Also, everyone has a secret agenda and no one tells Kat or Peet (or us) until the last 10 pages, which is very exciting.
My only problem: Kat doesn't know if she loves Gale or Peeta. Her back and forth, and "but were those feelings only because I was trying to save him? or me? or those people?" mental conversations with herself got annoying. Here's what I've decided: forget Gale. He wasn't in the games, so he can't know what's in your head AT ALL. It's like being in a war, or prison--those who haven't done it can never really understand. Peeta is where it's at: dude totally knows what you've been through, you've slept with the dude (no sex, just sleeping) countless times. When you trust someone enough to sleep in their arms, you love them. Now shut up about it.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
I may have found a way to tolerate Dean Koontz!
Odd Hours, by Dean Koontz
I recently finished listening to the audio version of "Odd Hours". I had tried to read the actual book twice before, and both times I hadn't been able to get through it. Koontz is too annoying--he bitches about the world too much. He writes about ONE FREAKING DAY in Odd's life, but the telling takes 7 hours because he can't go 5 minutes without making a joke at society's expense. We get it, Dean. The world is not up to your expectations. We are all petty, and small, and shallow, and stupid (except, of course, those who read your books. THAT PART OF SOCIETY IS GREAT, RIGHT?) Also, here's another lesson you get beaten into you with every Koontz book: DOGS ARE TOTES MAGIC, YOU GUYS! But only golden retrievers. Other breeds are just dogs. Plain old, garden variety, non-going-to-impart-upon-you-some-magical-wisdom-and-shit dogs. OH AND ALSO WAY TO END WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHAT THAT STUPID PREGNANT CHICK'S DEAL IS, ASSHOLE.
Oh, but anyway--audio version is way more entertaining. Narrator is awesome. I was really starting to see the characters so much better thanks to his voices.
The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins
Again with the cliffhangers! That's 2 books in one freaking week! I'd REALLY be more pissed about this if I didn't have the sequel to Hunger Games in my possession already.
This book was really hard to put down. Collins is FANTASTIC at storytelling, she really made me feel the tension, experience the excitement, and stuff of that nature. Basic story as simply as I can tell it: It's America's future, life is hard unless you live in the one privileged sector, the Capital. Every else lives in the Districts--1 through 12. Every year they have the Hunger Games--each district has a raffle in which a girl and a boy are chosen (aged 12-18) and sent to the Capital to compete to the death. The Game is televised, and everyone is required to watch. It's a reminder to the districts that they are under the Capital's complete control, and it's a punishment for the rebellion the Districts had performed many years before. Main character is Katniss--she goes in place of her little sister. Because I already had book 2, I knew she was going to win, I just didn't know how Collins was going to have her character defeat everyone else in the Games in such a way that the reader wouldn't hate her--when I say they fight to the death, I mean it. They fight to the freaking death. But Collins does great. She even puts in a little romance, using a fun little plot twist to make it believable to the reader.
I start the sequel tomorrow. Very looking forward to it.
Currently reading "The Cannibals", a Stephen King story. You can download it from his website, which is FREAKING AWESOME. I actually downloaded it a while ago, just haven't had a chance to read it. OK, and also I forgot it was there.
http://www.stephenking.com/library/unpublished/cannibals_the.html
I recently finished listening to the audio version of "Odd Hours". I had tried to read the actual book twice before, and both times I hadn't been able to get through it. Koontz is too annoying--he bitches about the world too much. He writes about ONE FREAKING DAY in Odd's life, but the telling takes 7 hours because he can't go 5 minutes without making a joke at society's expense. We get it, Dean. The world is not up to your expectations. We are all petty, and small, and shallow, and stupid (except, of course, those who read your books. THAT PART OF SOCIETY IS GREAT, RIGHT?) Also, here's another lesson you get beaten into you with every Koontz book: DOGS ARE TOTES MAGIC, YOU GUYS! But only golden retrievers. Other breeds are just dogs. Plain old, garden variety, non-going-to-impart-upon-you-some-magical-wisdom-and-shit dogs. OH AND ALSO WAY TO END WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHAT THAT STUPID PREGNANT CHICK'S DEAL IS, ASSHOLE.
Oh, but anyway--audio version is way more entertaining. Narrator is awesome. I was really starting to see the characters so much better thanks to his voices.
The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins
Again with the cliffhangers! That's 2 books in one freaking week! I'd REALLY be more pissed about this if I didn't have the sequel to Hunger Games in my possession already.
This book was really hard to put down. Collins is FANTASTIC at storytelling, she really made me feel the tension, experience the excitement, and stuff of that nature. Basic story as simply as I can tell it: It's America's future, life is hard unless you live in the one privileged sector, the Capital. Every else lives in the Districts--1 through 12. Every year they have the Hunger Games--each district has a raffle in which a girl and a boy are chosen (aged 12-18) and sent to the Capital to compete to the death. The Game is televised, and everyone is required to watch. It's a reminder to the districts that they are under the Capital's complete control, and it's a punishment for the rebellion the Districts had performed many years before. Main character is Katniss--she goes in place of her little sister. Because I already had book 2, I knew she was going to win, I just didn't know how Collins was going to have her character defeat everyone else in the Games in such a way that the reader wouldn't hate her--when I say they fight to the death, I mean it. They fight to the freaking death. But Collins does great. She even puts in a little romance, using a fun little plot twist to make it believable to the reader.
I start the sequel tomorrow. Very looking forward to it.
Currently reading "The Cannibals", a Stephen King story. You can download it from his website, which is FREAKING AWESOME. I actually downloaded it a while ago, just haven't had a chance to read it. OK, and also I forgot it was there.
http://www.stephenking.com/library/unpublished/cannibals_the.html
Saturday, January 9, 2010
TWO BOOKS
The Shining, by Stephen King
AHHHH SO GOOD.
This book made me sleep with a lamp on for one night (after I read about the vixen of room 217). This book also gave me the literary equivalent of a "screamer" (it's a stupid fucking type of youtube video that always features a scary face and a recorded scream to totally fucking freak you right the fuck out. And possibly scream out loud so you look like an idiot.) The screamer in question occurred when Danny walks around a corner and is confronted with a bloody man wearing a silver dog suit, with small, red eyes. I have a gift, my friends. I can get so immersed in a book that I picture it happening right as I read it, and when I read something scary there is no time for a filter to take out the truly horrifying shit before BAM! there it is right in my head. And once it's in there, there's no getting it out.
I believe I may have gasped. Out loud. In my empty room. FROM ONLY A BOOK.
Another little animated gif that will stay with me forever: Jack beating his own head with a mallet. Was that in the movie? It should have been. I refuse to watch it to find out, because I LIKE sleeping, and I'd like to do it again, soon. And regular.
I can't believe that I went this long without reading this book, though. I can't believe what I went SO LONG missing!!!
Ghost in the Machine (Skeleton Creek 2), by Patrick Carman
Same as the first one--LOVE the videos. Got a little annoying because I kept having to load of the computer for the nephew, but at least when it was my turn to read the book I could skip it all. I'm really glad this is the end, because the cliffhanger ending of the first one REALLY pissed me off.
AHHHH SO GOOD.
This book made me sleep with a lamp on for one night (after I read about the vixen of room 217). This book also gave me the literary equivalent of a "screamer" (it's a stupid fucking type of youtube video that always features a scary face and a recorded scream to totally fucking freak you right the fuck out. And possibly scream out loud so you look like an idiot.) The screamer in question occurred when Danny walks around a corner and is confronted with a bloody man wearing a silver dog suit, with small, red eyes. I have a gift, my friends. I can get so immersed in a book that I picture it happening right as I read it, and when I read something scary there is no time for a filter to take out the truly horrifying shit before BAM! there it is right in my head. And once it's in there, there's no getting it out.
I believe I may have gasped. Out loud. In my empty room. FROM ONLY A BOOK.
Another little animated gif that will stay with me forever: Jack beating his own head with a mallet. Was that in the movie? It should have been. I refuse to watch it to find out, because I LIKE sleeping, and I'd like to do it again, soon. And regular.
I can't believe that I went this long without reading this book, though. I can't believe what I went SO LONG missing!!!
Ghost in the Machine (Skeleton Creek 2), by Patrick Carman
Same as the first one--LOVE the videos. Got a little annoying because I kept having to load of the computer for the nephew, but at least when it was my turn to read the book I could skip it all. I'm really glad this is the end, because the cliffhanger ending of the first one REALLY pissed me off.
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