Blockade Billy, by Stephen King

I "read" this on my way to and from work this week. (Book on CD)

It's a good story, and I love how King wrote it from the point of view of an old man in a nursing home, because that makes it damn near perfect for an audiobook. The dude even refers to Mr. King himself as if he's being interviewed right there.

William "Blockade Billy" Blakeley is the new catcher for the New Jersey Titans, way back when. He played for one season (not even the whole season, actually) and then was "erased from the records" for reasons unknown. I spent the entire story trying to guess, and because this is a King novel all my guesses concerned demons or magic.  The secret to Billy is that he is a whackjob. Totally nuts. Dude's not stupid, but he's crazy--not a good combo. So if you decide to read it, or buy the book on CD, you can relax and enjoy the story and quit expecting demons to fly out of his mitt.

That's my only concern with King--I love his books and short stories, both the scary shit and the not-scary shit, but sometimes I can't tell what kind of story I'm reading and that gets in the way of my enjoyment. Not King's fault, just a problem I have.

Both the book and the CD come with a bonus short story called "Morality". I personally recommend buying the CD because "Morality" is read by Mare Winningham and she makes this thing cinema. She is fantastic! I simply cannot put into words how much her voice added to my enjoyment of this story.

"Morality" concerns a couple, Nora and Chad, their money problems, and a sick old dude named Winnie.

See, Winnie is a retired pastor who had a stroke a few years ago and hired Nora to be his nurse. Over the years he has listened to Nora, listened to her talk about her money problems and her and Chad's dream of moving to someplace up north, like Vermont, and Winnie sees an opportunity to help Nora while fullfilling one of his needs. Winnie needs to sin. He has lived a good life, never purposefully commiting any kind of sin, and he decides that he doesn't want to die without experiencing it.

I'm not going to tell you what the sin is, because King stretched it and stretched it until the last minute, and when the sin occurs it's simple and horrible and I'm not going to take that moment of realization from you.

But Nora and Chad accept the money, commit the act, and then have to face the consequences of their own consciences.

It's a great story, and Mare Winningham is freaking awesome. I cannot say that enough.

I READ TWO BOOKS, YAY!!!

Ok, really just one. I listened to the other one. BUT IT COUNTS!!!!

Dead in the Family, by Charlaine Harris

I am so, so happy Bill finally found him someone, so he can stop creeping me out with his stupid Sookie devotion. I just don't like that guy for some reason.

I actually finished this book like last week and kind of forgot to update the blog since I hadn't been on here for a while. So.....I remember liking it.....and, uh.......Sookie needs to get over being married to Erik. Dude's sexy, and whether she can blame it on the blood bond or not, he has feelings for her. So he loves you, you love him, quit being all pissy about being his wife.

I hope Book 11 does something with the Erik's dad and brother thing. Otherwise, that whole story line was a waste of time.

And the ending? She falls asleep in bed with her cousins? Kinda sweet, but also kinda ewwww. I know it's family, and Charlaine's not going to have them have sex or anything, but ONE OF THEM LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOUR BROTHER. And you just met him. HEY YOU KILLED MY PARENTS AND YOU LOOK LIKE MY BROTHER! WEIRD! WHY YES I'LL NAP WITH YOU.


Sundays at Tiffany's, by James Patterson and Gabrielle Charbonnet

Got this on audiobook. I LOVE THIS PREMISE!!!!! Jane's imaginary friend comes back when she's all grown up, and they fall in love, and it's a funny and cute story, BUT IT HAS HOLES!!!

Hole #1 Jane's ring. You make a big deal about spending SIXTY-FIVE THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS on a RING!!!! And then it's never mentioned again. Were we supposed to assume she was wearing it the rest of the book? I NEED TO KNOW!!!!

Hole #2 Before Jane's mom dies she apologizes to Jane for being hard on her, but she says she was only trying to make sure Jane didn't turn out like her, she wanted Jane to be a better person than she was. UH, YEAH, DYING OLD LADY, I HAVE 5 CDS OF YOU THAT PROVE OTHERWISE. Was this just a dying lady talking out of her head? It was weird and I didn't like it. Here's my idea: instead of killing her, make her realize how much she's underestimated and bullied her daughter and then end the book on those two reforming their relationship.