And Another Thing, by Eoin Colfer
Hitchhiker's sequel. Apparently Colfer decided to write another piece of the story. It's pretty good, too. You feel as if you're reading a Douglas Adams book. My only gripe with it is that I felt that there were too many Guide's notes. Those were a little distracting. Remember the last Adams' Guide book, that had all the Earths in all the dimensions exploded? Well, it turns out that the Guide 2.0 version, if you will, wanted to see what life was like, and so he took Random, Arthur, Trillian, and Ford on a little mental journey, that took them all to old age. And then his battery runs out and they're all forced back into their younger bodies just before Earth(s) are about to be exploded. Before they can explode as well, though, of course they are rescued, by none other than Zaphod Beeblebrox. And from there things get a little confusing, so I suggest everyone just read the thing themselves. You won't regret it.
Now, onto the book I am currently reading. It was an impulse purchase at Walmart while I was waiting for my prescription to be filled (sinuses, fucking again). I decided that I had to have it because Jen Yates of Cakewrecks and Epbot fame read it and said it was good, and also THERE ARE PICTURES. Photographs. The author claims he found them and created the story around them. They're all old-timey and creepy as hell. When I finish the book maybe I'll scan some in, but most likely I'll forget.
OH WAIT TITLE, I FORGOT.
It's called "Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children", by Ransom Riggs. I've only read a few chapters, and seen a few pics, but I think I'm going to enjoy this, and the book is of the quality that I think I'll treasure this thing for a few years. No one gets to get their grubby little hands on this, I'll tell you that.
The reason I'm bringing it up even though I'm not finished is that I just read a passage that immediately made me want to tell someone about it, and tell why I do not feel the same as the kid telling the story. And I'm home sick, alone, so the internet will have to do!
p. 63 I love you too, I wanted to say with as much hurtful sarcasm as I could muster, but she hadn't seen me, and I kept quiet. I did love her, of course, but mostly just because loving your mom is mandatory, not because she was someone I think I'd like very much if I met her walking down the street.
I know that people have relationships like this with their mothers, or hell both parents, but I've always counted myself lucky in that I have 4 people who I love very much, genuinely, not because it's "mandatory." (That's right, I said 4--broken families for the win! TWO CHRISTMASES......and okay so their also just freaking great people, the lot of them) And my mother specifically--she is AWESOME. If I met her walking down the street, I think I'd adopt her immediately. Hello ma'am, you are my new mother. Or aunt. Whatever you feel most comfortable being. Because YOU ARE PRECIOUS, AND SWEET, AND seriously, you guys? Everybody loves her. It's impossible not to. So I've always looked at those with not great relationships with their mothers with a little of pity and just not understanding it at all.
I know my mom doesn't read my blog. She would, if I set up a bookmark and then emailed her whenever I finally updated, but I bet she just doesn't think about it. Plus, everything I write here, I usually end up telling her anyways, because all of these books I've either read AFTER her, or forced upon her immediately upon finishing them. That's another reason I bet she wouldn't read the blog--lady HATES spoilers.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Yeah, so I kind of goofed.
I put off writing so long that I can't quite remember everything.
The first book I finished, I think, was "Across the Universe," by Beth Revis.
http://www.amazon.com/Across-Universe-Beth-Revis/dp/1595143971
I had bought the audiobook because Sirius Book Radio was playing it and I wanted to hurry up and find out what was happening. It's kind of a let-down. I LOVE that Laura Ambrose reads Amy's part. Her voice makes everything better. However, the dude who read Elder's part kept making me hate him when he'd do Amy's voice. Why is it that women can read a book and give a male character a perfectly fine voice, but when men read, they give all the women these simpering, weak little voices? We don't all sound like that, douchebags.
Okay, on to recap: story begins from Amy's point of view, as she and her parents are frozen and stored in what's basically a morgue. They're going to be thawed in 300 years, when the spaceship carrying them lands on a planet that scientists have discovered that is Earth-like. Once Amy's frozen, the story shifts to Elder's point of view. It is now 250 years in to the future, and Elder is the youngest person aboard the spaceship Godspeed. One day, he will be eldest, and he'll also be Eldest, leader of the ship. We learn a little about his life on the ship and the way things are supposed to work there, but I'll save you the trouble of reading this part: it's all wrong. Elder doesn't know it, but in a few weeks he'll realize that this ship is not what it seems.
Amy is thawed and almost dies. She can't be refrozen because there's a good chance her body won't be able to take it. Elder is immediately in lust with her, because she's the only person on the ship his age, AND she's like, totally exotic and shit. After several generations of breeding on the ship, everyone is pretty much the same shade of olive, has the same brown hair and eyes, and all speak the same lilted English. Amy has problems understanding at first. To Elder, Amy speaks very slowly. Being inside Elder's head during his parts of the book are instantly annoying; he keeps having to tell us how he doesn't like when his friend chats with her, doesn't want to hear about her boyfriend back on Earth, he's looking forward to his "season" with her (gross). Beth Revis doesn't really know how to write as a teenage boy.
OH yeah. Amy was unplugged early by an unknown saboteur. She is devastated at the news she can't see her parents for another 50 years. However, she quickly gets distracted by the job of protecting their frozen forms when other people start getting unplugged (and die). However, she also quickly gets distracted from protecting them by wandering around the ship and refusing to understand how the society works, crying a lot, moping, and running.
I'm going to save everyone the trouble of reading this, or getting the audio version, by telling you what the big secret is:
The leader of the ship, the current "Eldest", is actually a clone of the very first Eldest. The first Eldest was the man who stepped up to lead the people of the ship after it was discovered that the engine was malfunctioning and it was going to take longer than expected to reach the new Earth. People went crazy. They killed themselves, and each other. So the first guy got everyone that was left, realized they all had kids. They had a reason to stay sane, a reason to live. He put into effect the "season", a time period where everyone ruts like animals. He orchestrated this by adding hormones to the water, and stopped the birth control at the same time. Also added to the water from then on? A substance that makes everyone obedient and happy. So by Amy's awakening, you have several generations of people have lived this way and see nothing wrong with it. Elder and Amy, of course, find out and want to put a stop to it. And the original Eldest actually cloned himself, so that's who Elder and the current Eldest are: same person, basically. So the ship runs like this: 20 years, you have a season and everyone has sex and all the women get pregnant. Then, you take everyone to the top level of the ship, show them the stars, break the news that it's going to be 25 years longer to earth than previously thought, and nobody riots because they're all drugged up, and they've all got babies on the way to think about. You do it again in another 20-40 years, I've already confused the details.
Amy and Elder find out the ship is actually way way WAY behind, far more than 25 years. The engines just suck.
And everyone was getting unplugged from the freezers because a guy who was previously an Elder (ergo, another clone) was convinced that when the ship landed all the frozens were going to be thawed and then they'd enslave the all the people who'd been running the ship. So yeah, wackadoo.
Both are dealt with, and Amy and Elder lead the ship together, and tell everyone the truth, and stop drugging them. And Amy makes peace with the fact that she'll never see her parents again.
I think Revis tried hard, and certain things I liked, but it was just waaayyyyy too long. And I'd be listening to it, and Amy would be talking to some dude at the record hall, or Elder would be sulking about Eldest not teaching him how to run the ship, and I'd be all "Who's going to relieve Harley on guard duty with the frozens!!?? Why is nobody thinking about that?" It seemed like a TON of shit would happen while Amy was around and then she'd NEVER remember to mention it to Elder. Yo, chick, he lives here, I bet he could help you figure this out! Moron.
The first book I finished, I think, was "Across the Universe," by Beth Revis.
http://www.amazon.com/Across-Universe-Beth-Revis/dp/1595143971
I had bought the audiobook because Sirius Book Radio was playing it and I wanted to hurry up and find out what was happening. It's kind of a let-down. I LOVE that Laura Ambrose reads Amy's part. Her voice makes everything better. However, the dude who read Elder's part kept making me hate him when he'd do Amy's voice. Why is it that women can read a book and give a male character a perfectly fine voice, but when men read, they give all the women these simpering, weak little voices? We don't all sound like that, douchebags.
Okay, on to recap: story begins from Amy's point of view, as she and her parents are frozen and stored in what's basically a morgue. They're going to be thawed in 300 years, when the spaceship carrying them lands on a planet that scientists have discovered that is Earth-like. Once Amy's frozen, the story shifts to Elder's point of view. It is now 250 years in to the future, and Elder is the youngest person aboard the spaceship Godspeed. One day, he will be eldest, and he'll also be Eldest, leader of the ship. We learn a little about his life on the ship and the way things are supposed to work there, but I'll save you the trouble of reading this part: it's all wrong. Elder doesn't know it, but in a few weeks he'll realize that this ship is not what it seems.
Amy is thawed and almost dies. She can't be refrozen because there's a good chance her body won't be able to take it. Elder is immediately in lust with her, because she's the only person on the ship his age, AND she's like, totally exotic and shit. After several generations of breeding on the ship, everyone is pretty much the same shade of olive, has the same brown hair and eyes, and all speak the same lilted English. Amy has problems understanding at first. To Elder, Amy speaks very slowly. Being inside Elder's head during his parts of the book are instantly annoying; he keeps having to tell us how he doesn't like when his friend chats with her, doesn't want to hear about her boyfriend back on Earth, he's looking forward to his "season" with her (gross). Beth Revis doesn't really know how to write as a teenage boy.
OH yeah. Amy was unplugged early by an unknown saboteur. She is devastated at the news she can't see her parents for another 50 years. However, she quickly gets distracted by the job of protecting their frozen forms when other people start getting unplugged (and die). However, she also quickly gets distracted from protecting them by wandering around the ship and refusing to understand how the society works, crying a lot, moping, and running.
I'm going to save everyone the trouble of reading this, or getting the audio version, by telling you what the big secret is:
The leader of the ship, the current "Eldest", is actually a clone of the very first Eldest. The first Eldest was the man who stepped up to lead the people of the ship after it was discovered that the engine was malfunctioning and it was going to take longer than expected to reach the new Earth. People went crazy. They killed themselves, and each other. So the first guy got everyone that was left, realized they all had kids. They had a reason to stay sane, a reason to live. He put into effect the "season", a time period where everyone ruts like animals. He orchestrated this by adding hormones to the water, and stopped the birth control at the same time. Also added to the water from then on? A substance that makes everyone obedient and happy. So by Amy's awakening, you have several generations of people have lived this way and see nothing wrong with it. Elder and Amy, of course, find out and want to put a stop to it. And the original Eldest actually cloned himself, so that's who Elder and the current Eldest are: same person, basically. So the ship runs like this: 20 years, you have a season and everyone has sex and all the women get pregnant. Then, you take everyone to the top level of the ship, show them the stars, break the news that it's going to be 25 years longer to earth than previously thought, and nobody riots because they're all drugged up, and they've all got babies on the way to think about. You do it again in another 20-40 years, I've already confused the details.
Amy and Elder find out the ship is actually way way WAY behind, far more than 25 years. The engines just suck.
And everyone was getting unplugged from the freezers because a guy who was previously an Elder (ergo, another clone) was convinced that when the ship landed all the frozens were going to be thawed and then they'd enslave the all the people who'd been running the ship. So yeah, wackadoo.
Both are dealt with, and Amy and Elder lead the ship together, and tell everyone the truth, and stop drugging them. And Amy makes peace with the fact that she'll never see her parents again.
I think Revis tried hard, and certain things I liked, but it was just waaayyyyy too long. And I'd be listening to it, and Amy would be talking to some dude at the record hall, or Elder would be sulking about Eldest not teaching him how to run the ship, and I'd be all "Who's going to relieve Harley on guard duty with the frozens!!?? Why is nobody thinking about that?" It seemed like a TON of shit would happen while Amy was around and then she'd NEVER remember to mention it to Elder. Yo, chick, he lives here, I bet he could help you figure this out! Moron.
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