All you need to know is this: Bod grows up in a graveyard, raised by ghosts and other fantastical creatures, unable to leave lest he fall prey to the man/men who killed his family. That should be enough to make ANYONE read the book. He’s given the Freedom of the Graveyard, which gives the mortal boy the ability to Fade, Haunt, Dreamwalk, and other cool shit that almost makes you wish you could somehow get in good with the local dead peeps.
Only problem I had with it: the ending. Kind of just….ends. There’s a little resolution, and then “Ok, kid. Good job. On your way, then.” Gaiman leaves it open for sequels, if he so chooses, but I’d have liked a stronger ending, anyway.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Salem Falls, By Jodi Picoult
I can't remember why I wanted to read this book. I think it was b/c I had just read The Pact, and had a craving for a little more Picoult.
Picoult has a distinct pattern in her books: she flips back and forth between the present and the past, and one or more characters always has a big secret, that will be unveiled at the last possible moment, and usually in a court somehow. I have read enough of her books that now I'm incredibly paranoid about Picoult--I start to suspect that in THIS book there will be no "twist", no "secret". It's a trick, b/c she's figured out that we have figured HER out! In this one he will have actually committed the crime but get off for it, but it's ok b/c he's really really sorry!
But yeah, that didn't happen. Of course, the main dude didn't go to jail, but he actually didn't commit the crime either, so I was wrong about that.
I had a few problems with the science, but I think that was my fault--I watch too much CSI, so I of course believe that a tiny speck of DNA evidence will give you the entire DNA profile of the "perp", plus show his pants size, hair color, and tendency toward rape. In this book, which for all I know what written before our current technology, they find semen, but can only show that the dude has like a 1 in 40,000 chance of being the donor. In CSI they would have, like a said, a complete profile showing that the semen belonged to a blood relative of the victims. OOPS. that was a spoiler. About halfway into it you totally figure that out on your own, though, even though Picoult waits until PAGE THE VERY LAST to tell you.
Also, she tried to show that the hunt for the rapist in today's Salem Falls was similar to the hunt for witches back then, which was kind of an obvious thing, really.
Picoult has a distinct pattern in her books: she flips back and forth between the present and the past, and one or more characters always has a big secret, that will be unveiled at the last possible moment, and usually in a court somehow. I have read enough of her books that now I'm incredibly paranoid about Picoult--I start to suspect that in THIS book there will be no "twist", no "secret". It's a trick, b/c she's figured out that we have figured HER out! In this one he will have actually committed the crime but get off for it, but it's ok b/c he's really really sorry!
But yeah, that didn't happen. Of course, the main dude didn't go to jail, but he actually didn't commit the crime either, so I was wrong about that.
I had a few problems with the science, but I think that was my fault--I watch too much CSI, so I of course believe that a tiny speck of DNA evidence will give you the entire DNA profile of the "perp", plus show his pants size, hair color, and tendency toward rape. In this book, which for all I know what written before our current technology, they find semen, but can only show that the dude has like a 1 in 40,000 chance of being the donor. In CSI they would have, like a said, a complete profile showing that the semen belonged to a blood relative of the victims. OOPS. that was a spoiler. About halfway into it you totally figure that out on your own, though, even though Picoult waits until PAGE THE VERY LAST to tell you.
Also, she tried to show that the hunt for the rapist in today's Salem Falls was similar to the hunt for witches back then, which was kind of an obvious thing, really.
The Lace Reader, by Brunonia Barry
Brief synopsis: The disappearance of her aunt prompts a woman to return to her hometown of Salem, Massachusetts, and doing so forces her to "confront her past". Ugh, I wish I was a better writer so that wouldn't look so cliche.
I loved it, but it's been a while since I read this one so I can't really remember why I loved it so much. I think I loved it because of the supernatural element--main character's aunt is a lace reader, one who reads your future in lace. She also makes her own lace. And, she owns a tea room, and whatever lace is at the table when you come in become *your* lace. You get to keep it.
Ok, so to say anything further totally gives away the entire book, so read no further unless you like spoilers:
I have a love/hate thing for books where you find out 20 pages to the end that most of the story you've just read is a frigging lie. It's a little annoying, because I'll spend the next few days thinking about the book continuously.......so if there is no twin, then how did they play together? how does she know about stuff that happens when the "twin" is in california? when she herself moves to California as an adult, how can she not remember?? I always half-want to go back and read the book again, so I can try to work it all out.
I loved it, but it's been a while since I read this one so I can't really remember why I loved it so much. I think I loved it because of the supernatural element--main character's aunt is a lace reader, one who reads your future in lace. She also makes her own lace. And, she owns a tea room, and whatever lace is at the table when you come in become *your* lace. You get to keep it.
Ok, so to say anything further totally gives away the entire book, so read no further unless you like spoilers:
I have a love/hate thing for books where you find out 20 pages to the end that most of the story you've just read is a frigging lie. It's a little annoying, because I'll spend the next few days thinking about the book continuously.......so if there is no twin, then how did they play together? how does she know about stuff that happens when the "twin" is in california? when she herself moves to California as an adult, how can she not remember?? I always half-want to go back and read the book again, so I can try to work it all out.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Finn, by Jon Clinch
I was really interested in this book. The premise is pretty good: it's about Huckleberry Finn's father. Of course, I don't agree with writing books about another author's character. The original author created him, and he has the final say in what happened to that character before or after the original book, or what that character was thinking during the original book, or whatever.
But this one got me with the cover, like a lot of books do, and the inside jacket made it seem like a good story.
It was not.
I didn't even finish it.
This story is disgusting.
But this one got me with the cover, like a lot of books do, and the inside jacket made it seem like a good story.
It was not.
I didn't even finish it.
This story is disgusting.
Breaking Dawn, By Stephenie Meyer
I AM DONE AT LAST!!!!
This was actually pretty good. Bella got her some vampirism, and a baby hybrid thing, and they had a fight sorta, and it was all pretty interesting. Hardly any of the other crap that I hated about 2 and 3 that I have totally blocked from my memory already.
I LOVE(!) how Meyer handled the sex!
"Edward took my hand. . .
. . .I woke up the next morning."
See, even though it's read mainly by ladies my age, it's still SUPPOSED to be a tween book, so Meyer had to try to keep it rated G. I just got a kick out of that.
I heard rumors of a 5th book, so I checked it out on Meyer's website, and turns out there are some problems with that (go to the website for that info). I swore I wasn't going to read another of her books, but I'm intrigued by this: it's not a sequel, and it's not a prequel--it looks like it's just the first book again but written from Edward's point of view. TOTALLY READING THAT.
This was actually pretty good. Bella got her some vampirism, and a baby hybrid thing, and they had a fight sorta, and it was all pretty interesting. Hardly any of the other crap that I hated about 2 and 3 that I have totally blocked from my memory already.
I LOVE(!) how Meyer handled the sex!
"Edward took my hand. . .
. . .I woke up the next morning."
See, even though it's read mainly by ladies my age, it's still SUPPOSED to be a tween book, so Meyer had to try to keep it rated G. I just got a kick out of that.
I heard rumors of a 5th book, so I checked it out on Meyer's website, and turns out there are some problems with that (go to the website for that info). I swore I wasn't going to read another of her books, but I'm intrigued by this: it's not a sequel, and it's not a prequel--it looks like it's just the first book again but written from Edward's point of view. TOTALLY READING THAT.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
estate of panic
i hate "reality" shows and game shows where i can actually tell the contestants are actors. i actually recognize two of them from their bit parts in movies, commercials, and really bad sitcoms!!!! the black girl and the oldest-looking white guy: total actors. and everyone else is too cliche. the cowgirl? why don't you have a construction worker and an indian and cop? let's get the whole village people thing covered!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Eclipse, by Stephanie Meyer
I am in a strange place: I somehow enjoy the books, AND want to finish the series, and yet I absolutely hate the main character, and I think I even hate her boyfriend. I honestly can’t even say what it is I like about this crap that keeps me coming back for more…..
On to the bitching!
I already mentioned in a previous post how Bella stupidly worries about the mythical creatures’ safety, even though they are freaking MAGIC and she is a MORONIC KLUTZ! So I’m just going to say that more of that happens.
In the beginning of the book, the author took a daring turn and made Edward (the vamp boyfriend) act like a controlling asshole, refusing to let Bella visit her friends “for her own good”. Who hasn’t heard that on the Wifebeater Network (formerly known as Lifetime Movie Network)? Edward stops that crap later on, but it was still weird. I think Meyer should have rewritten that, but the whole thing took me out of the book, ruined the flow for a while.
Another thing that’s wearing on my nerves: I hate the way Bella treats her family. There’s even a whole passage where she’s thinking to herself about how she always had to take care of her mom, and how she even felt superior to her mother. I don’t think she respects her parents at all, and seeing Bella in that bratty light also stopped the flow for me.
To explain the flow for a bit: when I read I’m basically watching a movie in my head, and when the flow gets messed with, it’s like the DVD is skipping or the TV is getting fuzzy. I was lost in the story, and now I’m not because of that distraction. When the author is actually the one to stop the flow—that is bad! I want to be a test reader for Meyer so I can point out to her when she is ruining her own book for me so she can learn from it and fix it.
Anyway, another thing I hate about Bella: people try to do nice things for her, like give her a birthday party or take her out to dinner for graduation, and all she can do the ENTIRE TIME is hate it. And she can’t even pretend to like it for their sake. Bella is a rude little snot.
Lastly: Bella’s the star, Edward’s her one and only love, and I’m supposed to root for them. You ALWAYS root for the main character. It’s like one of the book commandments! But I don’t. I’m a much bigger fan of the werewolf pack, actually. I actually wish Bella would have chosen Jacob over Edward, it just makes more sense. Edward is ice cold and as hard as marble. Jacob, on the other hand, is a human: warm (actually hot—werewolves have a temp of about 108), fleshy so that it doesn’t feel like you are hugging a mannequin. You can have babies with him, you can take him out into the sunlight, you can let him stay over for dinner and he won’t weird everyone out by not eating. If you are stuck in a tent during a snow storm, the vampire can only sit and watch you freeze to death, but a werewolf can climb in your sleeping bag and get you so warm you are practically sweating (that actually happens in the book).
If I were any good at writing, I’d not even read book 4. I would spend that time writing some fan fiction about the absolutely wonderful life Bella and Jacob have together. It just makes more sense.
I’m not good at writing, however. So I’m going to read Book 4 and bitch about it later.
(some prebitching about book 4—MORE WHINING AND WORRYING!! And now Jacob’s all emo too, WHY IS STEPHENIE MEYER RUINING ALL THAT IS GOOD?)
On to the bitching!
I already mentioned in a previous post how Bella stupidly worries about the mythical creatures’ safety, even though they are freaking MAGIC and she is a MORONIC KLUTZ! So I’m just going to say that more of that happens.
In the beginning of the book, the author took a daring turn and made Edward (the vamp boyfriend) act like a controlling asshole, refusing to let Bella visit her friends “for her own good”. Who hasn’t heard that on the Wifebeater Network (formerly known as Lifetime Movie Network)? Edward stops that crap later on, but it was still weird. I think Meyer should have rewritten that, but the whole thing took me out of the book, ruined the flow for a while.
Another thing that’s wearing on my nerves: I hate the way Bella treats her family. There’s even a whole passage where she’s thinking to herself about how she always had to take care of her mom, and how she even felt superior to her mother. I don’t think she respects her parents at all, and seeing Bella in that bratty light also stopped the flow for me.
To explain the flow for a bit: when I read I’m basically watching a movie in my head, and when the flow gets messed with, it’s like the DVD is skipping or the TV is getting fuzzy. I was lost in the story, and now I’m not because of that distraction. When the author is actually the one to stop the flow—that is bad! I want to be a test reader for Meyer so I can point out to her when she is ruining her own book for me so she can learn from it and fix it.
Anyway, another thing I hate about Bella: people try to do nice things for her, like give her a birthday party or take her out to dinner for graduation, and all she can do the ENTIRE TIME is hate it. And she can’t even pretend to like it for their sake. Bella is a rude little snot.
Lastly: Bella’s the star, Edward’s her one and only love, and I’m supposed to root for them. You ALWAYS root for the main character. It’s like one of the book commandments! But I don’t. I’m a much bigger fan of the werewolf pack, actually. I actually wish Bella would have chosen Jacob over Edward, it just makes more sense. Edward is ice cold and as hard as marble. Jacob, on the other hand, is a human: warm (actually hot—werewolves have a temp of about 108), fleshy so that it doesn’t feel like you are hugging a mannequin. You can have babies with him, you can take him out into the sunlight, you can let him stay over for dinner and he won’t weird everyone out by not eating. If you are stuck in a tent during a snow storm, the vampire can only sit and watch you freeze to death, but a werewolf can climb in your sleeping bag and get you so warm you are practically sweating (that actually happens in the book).
If I were any good at writing, I’d not even read book 4. I would spend that time writing some fan fiction about the absolutely wonderful life Bella and Jacob have together. It just makes more sense.
I’m not good at writing, however. So I’m going to read Book 4 and bitch about it later.
(some prebitching about book 4—MORE WHINING AND WORRYING!! And now Jacob’s all emo too, WHY IS STEPHENIE MEYER RUINING ALL THAT IS GOOD?)
The Stolen Child by Keith Donahue
Nothing earth-shattering with this book, nothing special. I don’t regret reading it, but I’m also not recommending it to anyone, so it falls in the category of “meh”, I guess. The gist: the faeries are children, and they were all at one time human. Through the centuries a child is taken and replaced with a faerie, who assumes the child’s life. The child then lives with the faeries, becomes one of them, and awaits his/her turn to replace another child. The book is basically about one of those switcharoos, when a boy named Harry is taken and replaced with the monster kid. It follows both of their lives, showing you how Harry, now called Aniday, and the changeling, now called Harry, each cope with their situations.
I think what would have made it more interesting for me is more history on the faeries. It’s a cycle, that is explained, but it had to start somewhere, dern it! Where did it start? I need to know!! I had to google it. Google didn’t tell me how it started, but I did learn that in the Middle Ages if you had a deformed or retarded child, you blamed it on a changeling. That’s pretty much how the whole thing started, they needed a reason for the birth defects and science hadn’t looked into that yet.
Skip this book, go to google instead. Far more interesting.
I think what would have made it more interesting for me is more history on the faeries. It’s a cycle, that is explained, but it had to start somewhere, dern it! Where did it start? I need to know!! I had to google it. Google didn’t tell me how it started, but I did learn that in the Middle Ages if you had a deformed or retarded child, you blamed it on a changeling. That’s pretty much how the whole thing started, they needed a reason for the birth defects and science hadn’t looked into that yet.
Skip this book, go to google instead. Far more interesting.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Catch-up, again.
I couldn’t find the time to do this, again, so here’s another multi-book post:
Before Green Gables, By Budge Wilson
Originally, I disliked the book. I hated that Anne kept meeting the supposedly nice people who wouldn’t do anything to help her when things went wrong (which they did, often, because poor Anne inspires worse luck in people than all the cliché bad luck charms combined). However, the author couldn’t very well have Anne taken in by one of these nice families because then how would she end up at the orphanage, and then Green Gables? This is a prequel, it’s not like Wilson owned this character and could do what she wanted with her! I can’t believe I so stupidly forgot that fact, when I talked about it constantly while reading the book! So I now have a slightly higher opinion of the book, but I still think it was a little bland and boring, and also a little annoying.
The Dream, By Harry Bernstein
I should stop reading the same author twice, because in every book the little things that bug me are intensified. A very few authors are the exception to this, and I suppose I’m always hoping that this new author will be like those few!! And not many of them are. With Bernstein, Invisible Wall was so very good!! But while reading Dream, I just kept noticing how Bernstein paints himself in such a better light as everyone else. He’s the most devoted to his mom, he’s the only one who stands up to his father, and he’s the favorite of the grandfather. My suspicious side even started to doubt him: at 96 years old, who’s still around to contradict his story? He could be making this all up!
Also, I just looked at my post on The Invisible Wall, and it reminded me—there was nothing special about this one. There were no paragraphs that I particularly liked.
New Moon, By Stephanie Myers (Book 2 in the Twilight series)
I cannot explain why I like the Twilight series. I guess the 14 y/o girl inside of me just loves the love story part and the 27 y/o horror fan loves the vampire part. Basically, I am perfectly aware that it’s a tween’s book, and I’m also perfectly aware of how hokey and cliché of a story it is, but I love it anyway.
BUT, again, the more I read this author the more I nitpick her work. Example: someone needs to buy this lady a thesaurus so she can find another word for beautiful. And another word for “impossibly” as in “he’s impossibly beautiful”. Also the main character is one of those ditzes who’s totally unaware of how attractive they are, and totally in denial about the impossibly beautiful young man being in love with them. I have book 3 in my possession but I SWEAR if Bella gets all stupid about that again I am going to quit the series. I SWEAR!!!
(ok probably not)
Another thing: Bella is friends with a fucking werewolf and is dating a fucking vampire, and yet can’t stand the thought of them trying to protect her from a rogue vamp. I wanted to choke her when she got all scared about them being all alone in the woods with the bad vampire. They could be hurt!!! Actually, they can’t, Bella. Know why? ONE CAN TURN INTO A GIANT WOLF AND THE OTHER IS TECHNICALLY ALREADY DEAD, YOU STUPID TOOL. I think they have this and they do not need you helping with your incredibly graceless self.
I still really liked this, though, even with all that crap. It took me a week to read Before Green Gables, but it only took me about 18 hours to read New Moon.
Shoot, I swear I read another book but I can’t remember what it is…….
Before Green Gables, By Budge Wilson
Originally, I disliked the book. I hated that Anne kept meeting the supposedly nice people who wouldn’t do anything to help her when things went wrong (which they did, often, because poor Anne inspires worse luck in people than all the cliché bad luck charms combined). However, the author couldn’t very well have Anne taken in by one of these nice families because then how would she end up at the orphanage, and then Green Gables? This is a prequel, it’s not like Wilson owned this character and could do what she wanted with her! I can’t believe I so stupidly forgot that fact, when I talked about it constantly while reading the book! So I now have a slightly higher opinion of the book, but I still think it was a little bland and boring, and also a little annoying.
The Dream, By Harry Bernstein
I should stop reading the same author twice, because in every book the little things that bug me are intensified. A very few authors are the exception to this, and I suppose I’m always hoping that this new author will be like those few!! And not many of them are. With Bernstein, Invisible Wall was so very good!! But while reading Dream, I just kept noticing how Bernstein paints himself in such a better light as everyone else. He’s the most devoted to his mom, he’s the only one who stands up to his father, and he’s the favorite of the grandfather. My suspicious side even started to doubt him: at 96 years old, who’s still around to contradict his story? He could be making this all up!
Also, I just looked at my post on The Invisible Wall, and it reminded me—there was nothing special about this one. There were no paragraphs that I particularly liked.
New Moon, By Stephanie Myers (Book 2 in the Twilight series)
I cannot explain why I like the Twilight series. I guess the 14 y/o girl inside of me just loves the love story part and the 27 y/o horror fan loves the vampire part. Basically, I am perfectly aware that it’s a tween’s book, and I’m also perfectly aware of how hokey and cliché of a story it is, but I love it anyway.
BUT, again, the more I read this author the more I nitpick her work. Example: someone needs to buy this lady a thesaurus so she can find another word for beautiful. And another word for “impossibly” as in “he’s impossibly beautiful”. Also the main character is one of those ditzes who’s totally unaware of how attractive they are, and totally in denial about the impossibly beautiful young man being in love with them. I have book 3 in my possession but I SWEAR if Bella gets all stupid about that again I am going to quit the series. I SWEAR!!!
(ok probably not)
Another thing: Bella is friends with a fucking werewolf and is dating a fucking vampire, and yet can’t stand the thought of them trying to protect her from a rogue vamp. I wanted to choke her when she got all scared about them being all alone in the woods with the bad vampire. They could be hurt!!! Actually, they can’t, Bella. Know why? ONE CAN TURN INTO A GIANT WOLF AND THE OTHER IS TECHNICALLY ALREADY DEAD, YOU STUPID TOOL. I think they have this and they do not need you helping with your incredibly graceless self.
I still really liked this, though, even with all that crap. It took me a week to read Before Green Gables, but it only took me about 18 hours to read New Moon.
Shoot, I swear I read another book but I can’t remember what it is…….
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Catch-up
I got a little behind, so I'm playing catch-up.
The Pact by Jodi Picoult: Like every OTHER Picoult book, she starts at point M, and has a flashback to every letter of alphabet on her way to point Q. And everyone goes through these emotional changes, and everyone has secrets. It was good, mind you, but it was also same old, same old.
Angels by Marion Keyes: Funny and precious! I loved this book! Irish Maggie splits with her husband and goes to Hollywood to stay with a friend and recover. She learns some things about herself and her marriage (but not in the boring introspective way, in a pretty hilarious way).
Skinnybones by Barbara Park: When I was in 3rd grade I found a book in the teacher's crate about a boy who loved to make people laugh, got himself in a lot of trouble, had a problem with the truth, and who liked to make deals with god when he was in trouble. I loved it, read it, and never saw it again. Sometimes I would think about it, and wish I could remember the name so I could find it and give it to my kids. Last weekend I had to get a book for my kid at the library. It was this book. Nothing about the cover looked familiar. I got bored yesterday and picked it up, a lo and behold it was MY book! I kept thinking this seems familiar...... And when he started making deals with god over a little league game I KNEW IT! I got all little-girl ghey excited.
TV Shows: Food Detectives on the FoodNetwork is totally Beakman's World. The host is just basically doing a Beakman impression, and the way they film with the cuts and the speeding up of the actual experiments and the oversized props: screams Beakman's World.
The Pact by Jodi Picoult: Like every OTHER Picoult book, she starts at point M, and has a flashback to every letter of alphabet on her way to point Q. And everyone goes through these emotional changes, and everyone has secrets. It was good, mind you, but it was also same old, same old.
Angels by Marion Keyes: Funny and precious! I loved this book! Irish Maggie splits with her husband and goes to Hollywood to stay with a friend and recover. She learns some things about herself and her marriage (but not in the boring introspective way, in a pretty hilarious way).
Skinnybones by Barbara Park: When I was in 3rd grade I found a book in the teacher's crate about a boy who loved to make people laugh, got himself in a lot of trouble, had a problem with the truth, and who liked to make deals with god when he was in trouble. I loved it, read it, and never saw it again. Sometimes I would think about it, and wish I could remember the name so I could find it and give it to my kids. Last weekend I had to get a book for my kid at the library. It was this book. Nothing about the cover looked familiar. I got bored yesterday and picked it up, a lo and behold it was MY book! I kept thinking this seems familiar...... And when he started making deals with god over a little league game I KNEW IT! I got all little-girl ghey excited.
TV Shows: Food Detectives on the FoodNetwork is totally Beakman's World. The host is just basically doing a Beakman impression, and the way they film with the cuts and the speeding up of the actual experiments and the oversized props: screams Beakman's World.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Speaker for the Dead, By Orson Scott Card
I was confused in the beginning of this book. The author seemed critical of organized religion, specifically Catholicism. The way he describes the Bishop, actually every time he refers to the Bishop, he shows how self-important the man is, how much he cares about power over his people, how he is of lower intelligence than the other characters. Knowing as I read this of Mr. Card’s comments on homosexuals, these things confused me. But, then I noticed how the author treated the people who ran the school: The Children of the Mind of Christ. These people were wise and kind and understanding, and much more likable. So my theory now is that Card is a religious man, he just doesn’t like the Catholic church. Okay, I just checked and according to the internet he’s a Mormon.
Now on to the actual book: I really enjoyed reading this. It’s been a few weeks since I finished Ender’s Game, and I was missing Ender a little bit. In this book Ender unwraps the mystery of an alien race, heals a broken family, and starts another war—he’s a very busy 2000-year-old man.
I was wowed by the science-y stuff in here, like relativistic travel. Here’s the deal: when you set out for a planet that’s 20 light-years away, you will not reach that planet for 20 years. But, because your ship is traveling at “relativistic speeds” to you only a few weeks or days have passed. Ender and his sister have been planet-hopping, with Ender acting as a Speaker for the Dead, and with Valentine continuing her writing, usually writing histories of the planets they encounter. At the book’s opening, Ender and Valentine are only in their 30s, while back on Earth 2000 years have passed since they left. I just think that’s cool and confusing at the same time.
I don’t think that this series is going to make me suddenly interested in the science fiction genre, but I am very eager to see what happens to Ender and gang next
Now on to the actual book: I really enjoyed reading this. It’s been a few weeks since I finished Ender’s Game, and I was missing Ender a little bit. In this book Ender unwraps the mystery of an alien race, heals a broken family, and starts another war—he’s a very busy 2000-year-old man.
I was wowed by the science-y stuff in here, like relativistic travel. Here’s the deal: when you set out for a planet that’s 20 light-years away, you will not reach that planet for 20 years. But, because your ship is traveling at “relativistic speeds” to you only a few weeks or days have passed. Ender and his sister have been planet-hopping, with Ender acting as a Speaker for the Dead, and with Valentine continuing her writing, usually writing histories of the planets they encounter. At the book’s opening, Ender and Valentine are only in their 30s, while back on Earth 2000 years have passed since they left. I just think that’s cool and confusing at the same time.
I don’t think that this series is going to make me suddenly interested in the science fiction genre, but I am very eager to see what happens to Ender and gang next
Friday, September 19, 2008
The Invisible Wall
The Invisible Wall by Harry Bernstein is very similar to Angela's Ashes but slightly less depressing. (Where Angela's is bleak, Wall is kind of charming) After a few weeks of reading almost being a chore (see the post about 100 years of solitude for more info on that), this book was such a relief! I freaking deserved a book as easy and pleasurable as this after that horror.
"Early in the morning, when it was still dark, you would hear people going to work in these mills, their iron-shod clogs clattering over the cobblestones with a sound and a rhythm that was like a symphony."--I just love Bernstein's writing.
OH! Another thing I love: characters that beg me to hate them. So many times I wished I could reach in the book and slap Harry's sisters or kick his father.
Bottom line: great, easy, enjoyable piece of work.
Friday, September 12, 2008
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Or: a bunch of crazy shit happens.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Hundred_Years_of_Solitude
A brief explanation of "crazy shit": incest, dead babies, prophecies, beastiality, "three thousand dead and thrown into the ocean", flying carpets, 30 men named aureliano, 15 men named jose arcadio, flying naked bald chicks, the 180-year-old lady named ursula, an old man lives a few years tied to a tree and everyone's okay with this, the marriage of a 13-year-old girl and a 3o-year-old man (and her later death via "exploding blood"), carniverous ants, and the word "solitude" every 2 or 3 sentences.
Note to self: never read again, avoid rest of author's books as if just looking at them will cause eye cancer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Hundred_Years_of_Solitude
A brief explanation of "crazy shit": incest, dead babies, prophecies, beastiality, "three thousand dead and thrown into the ocean", flying carpets, 30 men named aureliano, 15 men named jose arcadio, flying naked bald chicks, the 180-year-old lady named ursula, an old man lives a few years tied to a tree and everyone's okay with this, the marriage of a 13-year-old girl and a 3o-year-old man (and her later death via "exploding blood"), carniverous ants, and the word "solitude" every 2 or 3 sentences.
Note to self: never read again, avoid rest of author's books as if just looking at them will cause eye cancer.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
No Country for Old Men
It’s a pretty good movie. I had a problem with it, which I’ll explain more below, but for the most part, I liked it.
The movie opens with Tommy Lee Jones narrating. He tells a very long story about being a law man over some very good shots of what is probably Texas, but since this is a movie they probably had to fly all the way to Sweden or something. (I do not care enough to google it. It really probably is Texas. Or Arizona. It’s a desert of some sort.) I love these opening shots and immediately the movie had my attention. I was determined to like it just based on these:
They introduce the “bad guy” right off. For the longest he doesn’t have a name, so I just thought of him as “chili bowl” (based on his haircut) and by the time they gave us his name, chili bowl was already cemented in my brain. His real name is Anton Chigurh (pronounced sugar), and he’s a killer, a good one, and also a bit of magician, which is one of the problems I had with the movie. I’ll get into that later. Chili bowl likes to kill people with a “captive bolt pistol”, that makes a wonderful sound when it goes off, which you will hear many many times throughout the movie. They LOVE to punctuate silent, suspenseful scenes with loud noises. It gets tedious after awhile. Oh, and the captive bolt pistol (by the way, I cheated and wiki’d the movie just so I’d know what that was called) is also very handy at blowing out lock cylinders. Chili bowl is totally insane, which they decide to demonstrate right off with the patented “crazy eyes” technique:
So basically the story is a guy (Llewellyn Moss) played by Josh Brolin stumbles upon a drug deal gone WAY wrong in the desert. He finds some money, takes some of the dead Mexicans’ guns, and goes home and the rest of the movie happens.
Here’s what I hated: in the beginning Llew is hunted by chili bowl and the other Mexicans. (note: chili bowl works for one dude, the Mexicans represent the other side). They find him pretty easily, but you’re given a really good reason for that—a transmitter in the money. However, when Llew finds the transmitter and takes it out, chili bowl is still able to find him. So is Woody Harrelson, (works on chili bowl’s side, but they’re not exactly teammates.) That jump from psychotic bad guy to psychic bad guy was weird. Stopped the whole flow of the movie for me, because I just kept wondering how chili bowl knew where Llew went. Also, when Llew finds the transmitter, he IMMEDIATELY starts to get paranoid about being followed. He’s sitting in his hotel room, in the dark, holding his gun, when this happens:
Total cliché scary movie moment. Again, I was taken out of the movie to ponder how perfect it was that 5 minutes after Llew finds the transmitter a creepy silhouette stops outside his door. AND THEN!! 10 minutes of silence-filled scenes of the door, Llew, the gun, the door, the gun, and then Llew again ends with the aforementioned air gun thing blowing the lock off the door, resulting in a nice jump and little shriek from myself. THANKS, COEN BROS. THANKS FOR THE FREE HEART ATTACK. AGAIN.
Llew escapes to Mexico, only to be found not only by chili bowl, but also Woody. I still can’t figure out how both of them knew he’d go to Mexico. I have GOT to read that damn book.
OH and funniest scene in the entire movie goes to Beth Grant, who plays Llew’s mother-in-law. The actress herself has a nice twangy southern accent, and she’s playing this spunky old bitch and I just love it.
“I always seen this is what it’d come do. Three years ago I previsioned it. Three years ago I said them very words—‘no’ and ‘good”. Here we are, 90 degree heat, I got the cancer, and look at this….not even a home to go to. We’re goin’ to El Paso, Texas. Do you know how many people I know in El Paso, Texas?”
"That's how many."
Llew’s wife had the cherry role in this movie: the only actor in the entire film to be in scenes with all 3 main players: Llew, chili bowl, and Tommy Lee. Her last scene is my favorite—it’s with chili bowl. It’s a REALLY good scene.
All I’ll say about the ending is that it wasn’t what I expected, but knowing the formula for every movie isn’t fun anyway. Being surprised was good.
The movie opens with Tommy Lee Jones narrating. He tells a very long story about being a law man over some very good shots of what is probably Texas, but since this is a movie they probably had to fly all the way to Sweden or something. (I do not care enough to google it. It really probably is Texas. Or Arizona. It’s a desert of some sort.) I love these opening shots and immediately the movie had my attention. I was determined to like it just based on these:
They introduce the “bad guy” right off. For the longest he doesn’t have a name, so I just thought of him as “chili bowl” (based on his haircut) and by the time they gave us his name, chili bowl was already cemented in my brain. His real name is Anton Chigurh (pronounced sugar), and he’s a killer, a good one, and also a bit of magician, which is one of the problems I had with the movie. I’ll get into that later. Chili bowl likes to kill people with a “captive bolt pistol”, that makes a wonderful sound when it goes off, which you will hear many many times throughout the movie. They LOVE to punctuate silent, suspenseful scenes with loud noises. It gets tedious after awhile. Oh, and the captive bolt pistol (by the way, I cheated and wiki’d the movie just so I’d know what that was called) is also very handy at blowing out lock cylinders. Chili bowl is totally insane, which they decide to demonstrate right off with the patented “crazy eyes” technique:
So basically the story is a guy (Llewellyn Moss) played by Josh Brolin stumbles upon a drug deal gone WAY wrong in the desert. He finds some money, takes some of the dead Mexicans’ guns, and goes home and the rest of the movie happens.
Here’s what I hated: in the beginning Llew is hunted by chili bowl and the other Mexicans. (note: chili bowl works for one dude, the Mexicans represent the other side). They find him pretty easily, but you’re given a really good reason for that—a transmitter in the money. However, when Llew finds the transmitter and takes it out, chili bowl is still able to find him. So is Woody Harrelson, (works on chili bowl’s side, but they’re not exactly teammates.) That jump from psychotic bad guy to psychic bad guy was weird. Stopped the whole flow of the movie for me, because I just kept wondering how chili bowl knew where Llew went. Also, when Llew finds the transmitter, he IMMEDIATELY starts to get paranoid about being followed. He’s sitting in his hotel room, in the dark, holding his gun, when this happens:
Total cliché scary movie moment. Again, I was taken out of the movie to ponder how perfect it was that 5 minutes after Llew finds the transmitter a creepy silhouette stops outside his door. AND THEN!! 10 minutes of silence-filled scenes of the door, Llew, the gun, the door, the gun, and then Llew again ends with the aforementioned air gun thing blowing the lock off the door, resulting in a nice jump and little shriek from myself. THANKS, COEN BROS. THANKS FOR THE FREE HEART ATTACK. AGAIN.
Llew escapes to Mexico, only to be found not only by chili bowl, but also Woody. I still can’t figure out how both of them knew he’d go to Mexico. I have GOT to read that damn book.
OH and funniest scene in the entire movie goes to Beth Grant, who plays Llew’s mother-in-law. The actress herself has a nice twangy southern accent, and she’s playing this spunky old bitch and I just love it.
“I always seen this is what it’d come do. Three years ago I previsioned it. Three years ago I said them very words—‘no’ and ‘good”. Here we are, 90 degree heat, I got the cancer, and look at this….not even a home to go to. We’re goin’ to El Paso, Texas. Do you know how many people I know in El Paso, Texas?”
"That's how many."
Llew’s wife had the cherry role in this movie: the only actor in the entire film to be in scenes with all 3 main players: Llew, chili bowl, and Tommy Lee. Her last scene is my favorite—it’s with chili bowl. It’s a REALLY good scene.
All I’ll say about the ending is that it wasn’t what I expected, but knowing the formula for every movie isn’t fun anyway. Being surprised was good.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Ender's Game
I started reading Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card, a few days ago, because one of the writers over at cracked.com mentioned it. He made the book sound like it was an essential read for adolescents, and even though I'm nearing 30, I haven't been able to get into many books appropriate for my age lately. I LOVED Twilight, and I can't wait to read the rest of the series, but the book club book (Called Back To Memphis) was boring, Loving Frank--also boring. and A Hundred Years of Solitude seemed interesting, but I couldn't manage to get past the first few chapters. I'm hoping maybe Ender's Game will get some of them juvenile shit out of my system and I can move on to what all the other 30 yr old women are reading: Oprah's books, and I can go back to at least pretending I'm a grown-up.
I spent an entire WEEK on Loving Frank, and never made it more than 50 pages in, but I've been on Ender's Game for 2 days and I'm halfway through. It's sci-fi, which usually doesn't interest me, but it's also about an outcast, who's special, which is totally what every nerd believed themselves to be in school (whilst being bullied and whatnot). I have said that Twilight speaks to my inner little 14 yr old lovestruck girl, and now here's Ender, appealing to my inner little outcast dweeb.
One thing that really surprises me about Ender is how advanced the book is: the characters have "desktops" which are essentially laptops BUT THE BOOK WAS WRITTEN IN 1977. They have something they call "the nets", that they access with the desktops, where they can read articles, post articles, join or watch debates, and they even have videos on them. Sound familiar? Again, this book was written in 1977! I know they had computers then, I know they had an internet then, but I'm awed by the author's description of what is now our internet. Oh, and Ender plays a computer game that reminds me so much of any game we have now where you play a character who walks around a little world and does stuff. Were there computer games in 1977? Maybe the author was basing this on D&D and he just knew that this whole computer thing was going to take off one day and eventually D&D would make it there.
Because this is an old book, and I have a tiny library, I had to get it on interlibrary loan. I'm pretty sure my librarian said this was the only book in the series she could find, which means if it stays as good as it has been so far, I will be scraping together my meager finances to purchase the rest of them. I bet Amazon will have some used copies, which is good because although I love the book, I'm not too crazy about the author, thanks to: http://laist.com/2008/08/01/orson_scott_card_scifi_writer_will.php
I spent an entire WEEK on Loving Frank, and never made it more than 50 pages in, but I've been on Ender's Game for 2 days and I'm halfway through. It's sci-fi, which usually doesn't interest me, but it's also about an outcast, who's special, which is totally what every nerd believed themselves to be in school (whilst being bullied and whatnot). I have said that Twilight speaks to my inner little 14 yr old lovestruck girl, and now here's Ender, appealing to my inner little outcast dweeb.
One thing that really surprises me about Ender is how advanced the book is: the characters have "desktops" which are essentially laptops BUT THE BOOK WAS WRITTEN IN 1977. They have something they call "the nets", that they access with the desktops, where they can read articles, post articles, join or watch debates, and they even have videos on them. Sound familiar? Again, this book was written in 1977! I know they had computers then, I know they had an internet then, but I'm awed by the author's description of what is now our internet. Oh, and Ender plays a computer game that reminds me so much of any game we have now where you play a character who walks around a little world and does stuff. Were there computer games in 1977? Maybe the author was basing this on D&D and he just knew that this whole computer thing was going to take off one day and eventually D&D would make it there.
Because this is an old book, and I have a tiny library, I had to get it on interlibrary loan. I'm pretty sure my librarian said this was the only book in the series she could find, which means if it stays as good as it has been so far, I will be scraping together my meager finances to purchase the rest of them. I bet Amazon will have some used copies, which is good because although I love the book, I'm not too crazy about the author, thanks to: http://laist.com/2008/08/01/orson_scott_card_scifi_writer_will.php
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