I was really interested in this book. The premise is pretty good: it's about Huckleberry Finn's father. Of course, I don't agree with writing books about another author's character. The original author created him, and he has the final say in what happened to that character before or after the original book, or what that character was thinking during the original book, or whatever.
But this one got me with the cover, like a lot of books do, and the inside jacket made it seem like a good story.
It was not.
I didn't even finish it.
This story is disgusting.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Breaking Dawn, By Stephenie Meyer
I AM DONE AT LAST!!!!
This was actually pretty good. Bella got her some vampirism, and a baby hybrid thing, and they had a fight sorta, and it was all pretty interesting. Hardly any of the other crap that I hated about 2 and 3 that I have totally blocked from my memory already.
I LOVE(!) how Meyer handled the sex!
"Edward took my hand. . .
. . .I woke up the next morning."
See, even though it's read mainly by ladies my age, it's still SUPPOSED to be a tween book, so Meyer had to try to keep it rated G. I just got a kick out of that.
I heard rumors of a 5th book, so I checked it out on Meyer's website, and turns out there are some problems with that (go to the website for that info). I swore I wasn't going to read another of her books, but I'm intrigued by this: it's not a sequel, and it's not a prequel--it looks like it's just the first book again but written from Edward's point of view. TOTALLY READING THAT.
This was actually pretty good. Bella got her some vampirism, and a baby hybrid thing, and they had a fight sorta, and it was all pretty interesting. Hardly any of the other crap that I hated about 2 and 3 that I have totally blocked from my memory already.
I LOVE(!) how Meyer handled the sex!
"Edward took my hand. . .
. . .I woke up the next morning."
See, even though it's read mainly by ladies my age, it's still SUPPOSED to be a tween book, so Meyer had to try to keep it rated G. I just got a kick out of that.
I heard rumors of a 5th book, so I checked it out on Meyer's website, and turns out there are some problems with that (go to the website for that info). I swore I wasn't going to read another of her books, but I'm intrigued by this: it's not a sequel, and it's not a prequel--it looks like it's just the first book again but written from Edward's point of view. TOTALLY READING THAT.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
estate of panic
i hate "reality" shows and game shows where i can actually tell the contestants are actors. i actually recognize two of them from their bit parts in movies, commercials, and really bad sitcoms!!!! the black girl and the oldest-looking white guy: total actors. and everyone else is too cliche. the cowgirl? why don't you have a construction worker and an indian and cop? let's get the whole village people thing covered!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Eclipse, by Stephanie Meyer
I am in a strange place: I somehow enjoy the books, AND want to finish the series, and yet I absolutely hate the main character, and I think I even hate her boyfriend. I honestly can’t even say what it is I like about this crap that keeps me coming back for more…..
On to the bitching!
I already mentioned in a previous post how Bella stupidly worries about the mythical creatures’ safety, even though they are freaking MAGIC and she is a MORONIC KLUTZ! So I’m just going to say that more of that happens.
In the beginning of the book, the author took a daring turn and made Edward (the vamp boyfriend) act like a controlling asshole, refusing to let Bella visit her friends “for her own good”. Who hasn’t heard that on the Wifebeater Network (formerly known as Lifetime Movie Network)? Edward stops that crap later on, but it was still weird. I think Meyer should have rewritten that, but the whole thing took me out of the book, ruined the flow for a while.
Another thing that’s wearing on my nerves: I hate the way Bella treats her family. There’s even a whole passage where she’s thinking to herself about how she always had to take care of her mom, and how she even felt superior to her mother. I don’t think she respects her parents at all, and seeing Bella in that bratty light also stopped the flow for me.
To explain the flow for a bit: when I read I’m basically watching a movie in my head, and when the flow gets messed with, it’s like the DVD is skipping or the TV is getting fuzzy. I was lost in the story, and now I’m not because of that distraction. When the author is actually the one to stop the flow—that is bad! I want to be a test reader for Meyer so I can point out to her when she is ruining her own book for me so she can learn from it and fix it.
Anyway, another thing I hate about Bella: people try to do nice things for her, like give her a birthday party or take her out to dinner for graduation, and all she can do the ENTIRE TIME is hate it. And she can’t even pretend to like it for their sake. Bella is a rude little snot.
Lastly: Bella’s the star, Edward’s her one and only love, and I’m supposed to root for them. You ALWAYS root for the main character. It’s like one of the book commandments! But I don’t. I’m a much bigger fan of the werewolf pack, actually. I actually wish Bella would have chosen Jacob over Edward, it just makes more sense. Edward is ice cold and as hard as marble. Jacob, on the other hand, is a human: warm (actually hot—werewolves have a temp of about 108), fleshy so that it doesn’t feel like you are hugging a mannequin. You can have babies with him, you can take him out into the sunlight, you can let him stay over for dinner and he won’t weird everyone out by not eating. If you are stuck in a tent during a snow storm, the vampire can only sit and watch you freeze to death, but a werewolf can climb in your sleeping bag and get you so warm you are practically sweating (that actually happens in the book).
If I were any good at writing, I’d not even read book 4. I would spend that time writing some fan fiction about the absolutely wonderful life Bella and Jacob have together. It just makes more sense.
I’m not good at writing, however. So I’m going to read Book 4 and bitch about it later.
(some prebitching about book 4—MORE WHINING AND WORRYING!! And now Jacob’s all emo too, WHY IS STEPHENIE MEYER RUINING ALL THAT IS GOOD?)
On to the bitching!
I already mentioned in a previous post how Bella stupidly worries about the mythical creatures’ safety, even though they are freaking MAGIC and she is a MORONIC KLUTZ! So I’m just going to say that more of that happens.
In the beginning of the book, the author took a daring turn and made Edward (the vamp boyfriend) act like a controlling asshole, refusing to let Bella visit her friends “for her own good”. Who hasn’t heard that on the Wifebeater Network (formerly known as Lifetime Movie Network)? Edward stops that crap later on, but it was still weird. I think Meyer should have rewritten that, but the whole thing took me out of the book, ruined the flow for a while.
Another thing that’s wearing on my nerves: I hate the way Bella treats her family. There’s even a whole passage where she’s thinking to herself about how she always had to take care of her mom, and how she even felt superior to her mother. I don’t think she respects her parents at all, and seeing Bella in that bratty light also stopped the flow for me.
To explain the flow for a bit: when I read I’m basically watching a movie in my head, and when the flow gets messed with, it’s like the DVD is skipping or the TV is getting fuzzy. I was lost in the story, and now I’m not because of that distraction. When the author is actually the one to stop the flow—that is bad! I want to be a test reader for Meyer so I can point out to her when she is ruining her own book for me so she can learn from it and fix it.
Anyway, another thing I hate about Bella: people try to do nice things for her, like give her a birthday party or take her out to dinner for graduation, and all she can do the ENTIRE TIME is hate it. And she can’t even pretend to like it for their sake. Bella is a rude little snot.
Lastly: Bella’s the star, Edward’s her one and only love, and I’m supposed to root for them. You ALWAYS root for the main character. It’s like one of the book commandments! But I don’t. I’m a much bigger fan of the werewolf pack, actually. I actually wish Bella would have chosen Jacob over Edward, it just makes more sense. Edward is ice cold and as hard as marble. Jacob, on the other hand, is a human: warm (actually hot—werewolves have a temp of about 108), fleshy so that it doesn’t feel like you are hugging a mannequin. You can have babies with him, you can take him out into the sunlight, you can let him stay over for dinner and he won’t weird everyone out by not eating. If you are stuck in a tent during a snow storm, the vampire can only sit and watch you freeze to death, but a werewolf can climb in your sleeping bag and get you so warm you are practically sweating (that actually happens in the book).
If I were any good at writing, I’d not even read book 4. I would spend that time writing some fan fiction about the absolutely wonderful life Bella and Jacob have together. It just makes more sense.
I’m not good at writing, however. So I’m going to read Book 4 and bitch about it later.
(some prebitching about book 4—MORE WHINING AND WORRYING!! And now Jacob’s all emo too, WHY IS STEPHENIE MEYER RUINING ALL THAT IS GOOD?)
The Stolen Child by Keith Donahue
Nothing earth-shattering with this book, nothing special. I don’t regret reading it, but I’m also not recommending it to anyone, so it falls in the category of “meh”, I guess. The gist: the faeries are children, and they were all at one time human. Through the centuries a child is taken and replaced with a faerie, who assumes the child’s life. The child then lives with the faeries, becomes one of them, and awaits his/her turn to replace another child. The book is basically about one of those switcharoos, when a boy named Harry is taken and replaced with the monster kid. It follows both of their lives, showing you how Harry, now called Aniday, and the changeling, now called Harry, each cope with their situations.
I think what would have made it more interesting for me is more history on the faeries. It’s a cycle, that is explained, but it had to start somewhere, dern it! Where did it start? I need to know!! I had to google it. Google didn’t tell me how it started, but I did learn that in the Middle Ages if you had a deformed or retarded child, you blamed it on a changeling. That’s pretty much how the whole thing started, they needed a reason for the birth defects and science hadn’t looked into that yet.
Skip this book, go to google instead. Far more interesting.
I think what would have made it more interesting for me is more history on the faeries. It’s a cycle, that is explained, but it had to start somewhere, dern it! Where did it start? I need to know!! I had to google it. Google didn’t tell me how it started, but I did learn that in the Middle Ages if you had a deformed or retarded child, you blamed it on a changeling. That’s pretty much how the whole thing started, they needed a reason for the birth defects and science hadn’t looked into that yet.
Skip this book, go to google instead. Far more interesting.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Catch-up, again.
I couldn’t find the time to do this, again, so here’s another multi-book post:
Before Green Gables, By Budge Wilson
Originally, I disliked the book. I hated that Anne kept meeting the supposedly nice people who wouldn’t do anything to help her when things went wrong (which they did, often, because poor Anne inspires worse luck in people than all the cliché bad luck charms combined). However, the author couldn’t very well have Anne taken in by one of these nice families because then how would she end up at the orphanage, and then Green Gables? This is a prequel, it’s not like Wilson owned this character and could do what she wanted with her! I can’t believe I so stupidly forgot that fact, when I talked about it constantly while reading the book! So I now have a slightly higher opinion of the book, but I still think it was a little bland and boring, and also a little annoying.
The Dream, By Harry Bernstein
I should stop reading the same author twice, because in every book the little things that bug me are intensified. A very few authors are the exception to this, and I suppose I’m always hoping that this new author will be like those few!! And not many of them are. With Bernstein, Invisible Wall was so very good!! But while reading Dream, I just kept noticing how Bernstein paints himself in such a better light as everyone else. He’s the most devoted to his mom, he’s the only one who stands up to his father, and he’s the favorite of the grandfather. My suspicious side even started to doubt him: at 96 years old, who’s still around to contradict his story? He could be making this all up!
Also, I just looked at my post on The Invisible Wall, and it reminded me—there was nothing special about this one. There were no paragraphs that I particularly liked.
New Moon, By Stephanie Myers (Book 2 in the Twilight series)
I cannot explain why I like the Twilight series. I guess the 14 y/o girl inside of me just loves the love story part and the 27 y/o horror fan loves the vampire part. Basically, I am perfectly aware that it’s a tween’s book, and I’m also perfectly aware of how hokey and cliché of a story it is, but I love it anyway.
BUT, again, the more I read this author the more I nitpick her work. Example: someone needs to buy this lady a thesaurus so she can find another word for beautiful. And another word for “impossibly” as in “he’s impossibly beautiful”. Also the main character is one of those ditzes who’s totally unaware of how attractive they are, and totally in denial about the impossibly beautiful young man being in love with them. I have book 3 in my possession but I SWEAR if Bella gets all stupid about that again I am going to quit the series. I SWEAR!!!
(ok probably not)
Another thing: Bella is friends with a fucking werewolf and is dating a fucking vampire, and yet can’t stand the thought of them trying to protect her from a rogue vamp. I wanted to choke her when she got all scared about them being all alone in the woods with the bad vampire. They could be hurt!!! Actually, they can’t, Bella. Know why? ONE CAN TURN INTO A GIANT WOLF AND THE OTHER IS TECHNICALLY ALREADY DEAD, YOU STUPID TOOL. I think they have this and they do not need you helping with your incredibly graceless self.
I still really liked this, though, even with all that crap. It took me a week to read Before Green Gables, but it only took me about 18 hours to read New Moon.
Shoot, I swear I read another book but I can’t remember what it is…….
Before Green Gables, By Budge Wilson
Originally, I disliked the book. I hated that Anne kept meeting the supposedly nice people who wouldn’t do anything to help her when things went wrong (which they did, often, because poor Anne inspires worse luck in people than all the cliché bad luck charms combined). However, the author couldn’t very well have Anne taken in by one of these nice families because then how would she end up at the orphanage, and then Green Gables? This is a prequel, it’s not like Wilson owned this character and could do what she wanted with her! I can’t believe I so stupidly forgot that fact, when I talked about it constantly while reading the book! So I now have a slightly higher opinion of the book, but I still think it was a little bland and boring, and also a little annoying.
The Dream, By Harry Bernstein
I should stop reading the same author twice, because in every book the little things that bug me are intensified. A very few authors are the exception to this, and I suppose I’m always hoping that this new author will be like those few!! And not many of them are. With Bernstein, Invisible Wall was so very good!! But while reading Dream, I just kept noticing how Bernstein paints himself in such a better light as everyone else. He’s the most devoted to his mom, he’s the only one who stands up to his father, and he’s the favorite of the grandfather. My suspicious side even started to doubt him: at 96 years old, who’s still around to contradict his story? He could be making this all up!
Also, I just looked at my post on The Invisible Wall, and it reminded me—there was nothing special about this one. There were no paragraphs that I particularly liked.
New Moon, By Stephanie Myers (Book 2 in the Twilight series)
I cannot explain why I like the Twilight series. I guess the 14 y/o girl inside of me just loves the love story part and the 27 y/o horror fan loves the vampire part. Basically, I am perfectly aware that it’s a tween’s book, and I’m also perfectly aware of how hokey and cliché of a story it is, but I love it anyway.
BUT, again, the more I read this author the more I nitpick her work. Example: someone needs to buy this lady a thesaurus so she can find another word for beautiful. And another word for “impossibly” as in “he’s impossibly beautiful”. Also the main character is one of those ditzes who’s totally unaware of how attractive they are, and totally in denial about the impossibly beautiful young man being in love with them. I have book 3 in my possession but I SWEAR if Bella gets all stupid about that again I am going to quit the series. I SWEAR!!!
(ok probably not)
Another thing: Bella is friends with a fucking werewolf and is dating a fucking vampire, and yet can’t stand the thought of them trying to protect her from a rogue vamp. I wanted to choke her when she got all scared about them being all alone in the woods with the bad vampire. They could be hurt!!! Actually, they can’t, Bella. Know why? ONE CAN TURN INTO A GIANT WOLF AND THE OTHER IS TECHNICALLY ALREADY DEAD, YOU STUPID TOOL. I think they have this and they do not need you helping with your incredibly graceless self.
I still really liked this, though, even with all that crap. It took me a week to read Before Green Gables, but it only took me about 18 hours to read New Moon.
Shoot, I swear I read another book but I can’t remember what it is…….
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